My Black Dog

Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read”

Groucho Marks

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It’s so easy to write when you’re having a good day and nothing will bring you down or break your spirit. So today I thought I’d try writing on a day when I’m not feeling great.

After years of being called grumpy or miserable I finally took the plunge and visited the quack last week to find out why. I thought I had the odd day a month when I was feeling quiet and low in mood but I’ve since been told its more of a weekly occurrence. So gone is the excuse of ‘my time of the month’ after being diagnosed with anxiety and depression.

It explains a lot about how I have felt over the years and makes me wish I’d gone to see someone earlier in my life but it never crossed my mind that I could have depression. Why should it? For the past 28 years I’ve had my beautiful children in my life, always had a fairly good job and lifestyle. But it doesn’t work like that!

PODGE – My black dog

Let’s face it, you have friends and family but they have their own lives and troubles to deal with. They can’t always be there for you, as much as they may like to be. You’re left with the darkness in your head and you can’t seem to find the light switch to brighten your view of life. I guess it’s easier knowing exactly what’s wrong with you rather than thinking you’re a grumpy old man. I don’t want to be that person.

To add to my diagnosis news, the following day I found out I was being made redundant. With the power of three I’m waiting anxiously for number three.

The sun is out and I live in arguably the most beautiful part of the country. I need to try and take the positives out of my life and embrace each new day. Accept the bad days and look forward to the better ones.

Goodbye to you from your Hoobaddyhoo.

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